I never imagine what the future had for me, I never imagine how hard things will turn and find out later on that life is not easy. I only knew about love, barely could eat, walk and i was nothing but a little girl that need her parents and family but of course, if i was only six months old, everything was easier at that time and i didn’t really know what was going on around me.

 At that time I never though of the tomorrow and i had nothing to regret, I didn’t have a lot of worries, i was happy with my family, from my mom’s and dad’s side, i do remember that i grew up with my dad’s family more then my moms because my mom’s side move to USA when i was really young, and then every two years later the rest was living until there was nobody, except from my mom’s brother and his family, which their children more than cousins were like my siblings for me. 

 We were left, waiting and hoping that one day we were going to be all together again, like the big family we were, but i never imagine how much my family from my mom’s side will change, i still not sure if because they moved to another country, because life make them like that, or maybe it’s me, maybe because i learn how to take care of myself while my family was busy working, i learn that you can never trust people, and specially be always aware in your life and prepared for everything, i learn how to survive in a society with a lot of violence, because most of south america countries have, let’s be realistic, I know I had a very hard life there, always hoping that the day i got out my house i came back alive, same with my family, to don’t get robbed, because it happened to me already, when i was eleven i believe, but that helped me to be more carefull, some guys stole my camera with guns, and another day i was with my friend at the park and they robbed his money with knifes, and i was there, next to him, just watching, but thanks for that i learn how to deal with some of this people, how to run when i need to, how to treat them. I used to always pray for my family, and friends, it wasn’t an easy life I know, every time i go to school taking the bus, hoping the drivers were good people, and hoping don’t get into an accident, how many people like they were dogs died on the streets and ofcourse always taking care when i was walking by myself and don’t find a gang, which i meet a lot of people from gangs and they were good people, just needed money thats why they stole, maybe just needed attention, i meet good people like really bad too that like to hurt other people because that’s the way they are, but our own society make them like this, I used to have a group of friends, they were like a gang but they always protect me, always care about me, always go to where i live and visit me, when i used to hang out with them buy me food even tho they were more poor than me, i meet very good friends there, they still my friends, they still remember me i still love them, they were good friends, people with projects in their life, trying to progress.

 Even with all this, I do love my country more than everybody can imagine, even like that, i miss those busy and noisy nights in the city. I lived around restaurants, boulevards, clubs, supermarkets, the mall, and what i miss a lot are my neighbors, i always miss those meetings we used to have on the streets, i miss taking the bus everyday and spent some cents to go to school i also miss avoiding the bus too and go home walking with my friends so i will save some cents to eat lunch. I miss those streets, and parks, and beautiful places i used to go. I miss everything.

 I never wanted to leave, i was happy with the life i had there, people are complete different then here, i miss my school, i used to know everybody in my school, every teacher, all the students, they were all my friends, the time in high school i spent there was the best of my life, maybe because of this and more i learn how to do everything myself, even tho my parents helped me a lot, i had to learn how to deal with my problems maybe this it’s the reason why I’m not that close to my family anymore, because since they left i learn how to do it all myself and i know all families are not perfect, but i got tired of been around them and listen talking and sometimes fighting for stupid stuff,  because i do know when we were all in my country everything was different, but i guess it’s true that people change.

 Every time i look at this picture, i still remember the white little dress i was wearing, my mom keep it for years. She is the person carrying me and wearing white also, she have always been there for me, both, because my dad too and now i look at myself and i don’t understand what happened to me, my parents and their family, they was everything for me, they always show me love but since we all fall apart a lot of things change. I still pretty close to my parents, but only with them and some of my mom’s family and i haven’t seen my dad’s family since i moved to America.

 I remember The place the picture was take, was my favorite, a place that give me peace, it was my dad’s sister house, she and her husband were like my second parents, i loved them more than anything, my aunt became one of the best person in my family, the one i can trust after my mom. I still remember the wall of bricks my aunt used to have, it’s the background of the picture, she and my uncle were trying construct their house, it was a very modest house, even tho it wasn’t that big like mine; because my grandmother from my mom’s side could give us to live in while we were waiting to get the visa and move with her to USA; i used to love my aunt’s house, i used to spent weekends there, I loved my aunt with all my heart, she and my uncle was the perfect couple for me, i used to spend weekends with them and my cousin Karen that it is my same age, we both wanted to always stay there because the way they live, with a lot of love in the environment used to make me feel really loved, i can still remember every morning when i woke up, go and play with my favorite pets that lived with them and my aunt used to have our breakfast ready, i remember my aunt so much because she was the one after everything hurt me the most I remember she used to visit me every year of my birthday with a big cake, i remember her face, her smile, all the advice she used to give me, and my uncle used to love her a lot too, and also their son, i feel really good staying there every weekend. Living with them for a while also teach me that you have to work really hard to get what you want, that everything it’s possible and that you never have to feel embarrassed for the things you have, because there are kids and families out there that have nothing. Everything was good with them until i was eight, until my aunt decide to move to Argentina for a better future, her reason was the new job they offer her there, so then she also leave me, since she left everything change.

I remember at the airport, the last hug, she cried and told me she will come back soon, and until now, after almost nine years i haven’t seen her, and after she left she only called the first two years, then she forgot about us, about her son, her husband, her family, my cousin, and about me.

 I don’t really know what happened or maybe it’s me that i don’t really like to remember this, but my dad’s family side fall also apart, they were poor and needed help to find job or try to get a better life, just some of them make it, and I know most of them still living somewhere in my country, with the hope to be someone in life, I know my grandmother doesn’t like the city and still stuck; i have to say beautiful place; in the mountains, but not the best place to make money. My dad used to tell me how life was there, very peaceful place, farmers everywhere, he used to have a horse and he always like to tell me stories, and legends from there. I have always been curios of how it will be living there, but i love the city, maybe because i grew up there, but i know my grandmother wish to spend the last days of her life there, in the mountains.

 This it’s the picture that means the most for me, my mom and me look so happy and the background it’s just perfect, i can still remember the smell of the bricks, how i used to play in that house, they used to have a lot of different animals, like cats, dogs, chickens and i remember the goat they had, a beautiful goat that i used to play with, it never attack me. This picture it is really important to me, my mom and me have pass thru so many things and problems that looking at this picture it shows me how much she cares about me, and it makes me think, i know at this time my parents didn’t got divorced yet, i know they still loving each other and my brother wasn’t born yet.

 Looking at this picture now, nobody will never know that the stranger in this photo it’s me, nobody will know how important are the bricks behind us. The place the picture was take was the most amazing place i could ever go.

 Now things have obviously change, I’m not a six month old baby anymore, there is not white dress, there are no bricks, that house doesn’t exist anymore, my aunt never came back, the animals i grew up with are all dead, i haven’t see my dad’s family for years, my house in Peru; the one i grew up in it’s not us anymore; both houses have been destroy, i left the best friends i could ever had, my parents are divorced, now i live in America, even tho I’m here with all my family again it’s not the same anymore, and the true is that the one that is going away soon; it’s me, to make my own life, not because i want liberty, it’s because i grow up been so independent. I can think in so many things i might have already done in my country but i could think in more that i couldn’t done if i stay there.